The Adventures of Captain Radio – Season 1, Chapter 6 Transcript

VOICE: It’s time for Captain Radio!

[Intro music plays: thrilling, space-y synthesizer.]

NARRATOR: These are the adventures of Captain Radio! All is lost. When we last saw our valiant hero, Captain Radio fell into the trap laid by his archnemesis. Doctor Orban succeeded in opening the Dimension Gate, aided by Andromeda, who betrayed Captain Radio by using her psychokinetic powers to bridge the two dimensions. With Ace and Orion locked in the dungeon and Captain Radio banished to the Eleventh Dimension, nothing can stand in the way as Orban and his army of mutant mole people prepare to conquer the universe.

But things are not always as they seem. Far away from the Throne of Jupiter, deep in the dark dimension, Captain Radio emerges from the portal — and nothing could prepare him for what he is about to discover.

You’re listening to the final installment of Captain Radio and the Mutant Mole People from the Eleventh Dimension. Chapter Six: The Andromeda Factor.

Flanked by guards, Captain Radio steps into the Eleventh Dimension and shields his eyes…

CAPTAIN RADIO: Did we take a wrong turn?

MOLE PERSON: What do you mean?

CAPTAIN RADIO: I thought this was a dimension of total darkness. The complete absence of light.

MOLE PERSON: That is correct.

CAPTAIN RADIO: Then why does it look like we’re standing on the surface of the sun?

MOLE PERSON: I do not understand. Is this some kind of trick?

CAPTAIN RADIO: Maybe you haven’t noticed because you don’t have eyes, but this dimension is blinding. It’s as if every atom is radiating light!

MOLE PERSON: It is called The Burning. We do not speak of it.

CAPTAIN RADIO: When did it start?

MOLE PERSON: Enough talking. Move!

CAPTAIN RADIO: Where are you taking me?

MOLE PERSON: Our orders are to take you to the Great Auditor. He hears all.

CAPTAIN RADIO: Good, because he’s going to get an ear-full from me.

MOLE PERSON: On your knees, prisoner.

AUDITOR: So, this is the infamous Captain Radio.

CAPTAIN RADIO: The Great Auditor, I presume.

AUDITOR: This is the Eleventh Dimension. Our dimension. From here, there is no escape. How long does your species live?

CAPTAIN RADIO: A long time, if we’re lucky. 

AUDITOR: Then you shall have plenty of time to consider the consequences of your crime. You shall spend the rest of your life imprisoned in the Tower.

CAPTAIN RADIO: What did Doctor Orban tell you about me?

AUDITOR: Only that you are our enemy.

CAPTAIN RADIO: And you believed him? You have a lot to learn about my dimension.

AUDITOR: We have conquered many dimensions. Yours is no different than the rest. It will fall to the Children of Perpetual Night. 

CAPTAIN RADIO: You are clearly very powerful, Great Auditor. But you’ve been lied to. I’m not your enemy — Doctor Orban is.

MOLE PERSON: He is trying to trick us, your greatness! We should end him now!

AUDITOR: Silence, my child. Let us hear what he has to say.

CAPTAIN RADIO: Surely, you can recognize when you’re being manipulated.

AUDITOR: Explain.

CAPTAIN RADIO: Doctor Orban promised you a new frontier, room for the Children of Perpetual Night to expand and settle. He and I go back a long time and I can assure you that he has no plans of sharing the universe with you or anyone else. He cares only for himself.

AUDITOR: He is ambitious. So are we.

CAPTAIN RADIO: You’re survivors. I can see that. But Doctor Orban isn’t like you. He’ll stab you in the back the first chance he gets.

AUDITOR: Doctor Orban warned us not to listen to you. Take him away.

CAPTAIN RADIO: You’ve got to listen to me. If you don’t, then both of our universes will be destroyed.

AUDITOR: Are you threatening us?

CAPTAIN RADIO: I’m trying to save you. I can see the blisters on your face and hands. It’s the Burning, isn’t it?

AUDITOR: Irrelevant.

CAPTAIN RADIO: No, it isn’t. Your very survival may depend on it. I know what’s causing the Burning — and I think I know how to stop it before it’s too late.

[Heroic music swells.]

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on the other side of the Dimension Gate, Orion and Ace are imprisoned in the dungeon beneath the Throne of Jupiter. With Doctor Orban massing his army for war and Andromeda by his side, our heroes have admitted defeat and are resigned to their fate.

ORION: You know, I didn’t think it would end this way. I always pictured myself going out in a fiery explosion, outrunning an Imperium blockade, cargo hold bursting with contraband. So much for that. How are you holding up, Ace?

ACE: Downloading updates —

ORION: — From the electra-wave network. Yes, I know. After all we’ve been through today, is that all you’ve got to say for yourself?

ACE: Please wait.

ORION: Wait for what? The crushing wave of darkness that’s about to engulf the galaxy?

ACE: Download complete. Powering up. 

ORION: Welcome back.

ACE: Error. Missing data from memory tapes.

ORION: It’s no error. You’ve been out of commission for seventeen hours.

ACE: The last thing I remember is attempting to disrupt the mole people with a high-frequency tone.   

ORION: That’s when everything went sideways.

ACE: Our situation does not seem to have improved.

ORION: Without you to disable the guards, we were captured. Orban opened the dimension gate, Andromeda sold us out, and they threw the captain through the portal.

ACE: What is the plan?

ORION: There is no plan, Ace. It’s over. Even if we could break out of this cell, Andromeda would sense us and we’d be surrounded by mole people before we could get up the stairs.

ACE: Captain Radio never loses hope.

ORION: Yeah, well, I ain’t him.

NARRATOR: High above the dark confines of the dungeon, Doctor Orban and Andromeda meet in the throne room to discuss preparations for a grand coronation ceremony.

DOCTOR ORBAN: Our shocktroops have been recalled from Alpha Centauri. They shall be here in a matter of hours. This will be unlike any coronation in the history of the Imperium. Our soldiers will be in awe of our power — all thanks to you.

ANDROMEDA: Yes, because of me.

DOCTOR ORBAN: Are you alright, my dear? You haven’t said much since we banished Captain Radio. You’re not having second thoughts, are you?

ANDROMEDA: Of course not. I stared into the heart of the dark dimension.

DOCTOR ORBAN: And it looked back into you.

ANDROMEDA: Yes, that’s it exactly. I don’t think I could ever be the same.

DOCTOR ORBAN: Do not be concerned. Shadow suits you. Soon, the conquest of the galaxy will be complete and all of this will be behind us.

ANDROMEDA: Without Captain Radio, no one will dare stand against us.

DOCTOR ORBAN: I knew you understand. Now, I must see to the final preparations for the ceremony. The council elders are refusing to participate, so I’m going to persuade them.

NARRATOR: As soon as Doctor Orban is out of earshot, Andromeda begins the descent down the long, spiral staircase that threads through the core of the fortress. Further and further down past the royal residence, the servants’ quarters, the supply stores, and the armory, until she reaches the lowest level: the dungeon.

[The lock on the cell door is opened.]

ANDROMEDA: Leave us.

MOLE PERSON: As you wish, empress.

ORION: What are you doing here? I think you’ve done enough damage for one day, empress supreme. 

ANDROMEDA: Don’t you know a jailbreak when you see one?

ORION: Wait, wait, wait. I’m confused. Whose side are you on?

ANDROMEDA: I’m on your side, Orion. But Doctor Orban had to believe he had converted me to his cause, or he would have killed you all.

ACE: Insufficient data to gauge veracity.

ANDROMEDA: I’ll prove it to you. The space zeppelin is in the hangar bay. Take it, alert the Centauri Guard, tell Flagstaff what’s happened, and ask her to dispatch the battalion. I’ll hold off Orban and his soldiers until they get here.

ORION: That’s insane. You can’t go up against an entire army all by yourself.

ANDROMEDA: You don’t have to worry about me. I’m more powerful than Orban knows.

ORION: I’ve noticed. Alright, I’m in. Anything’s better than rotting in this cell.

ACE: Agreed.

ANDROMEDA: We haven’t much time. Let’s move.

NARRATOR: Our valiant trio makes their way up to the captured space zeppelin docked at the opposite end of the fortress. At each intersection, Andromeda uses her psychokinetic powers to clear a path. Upon reaching the upper level, they need only cross the throne room to reach the hangar bay and make their escape.

[Evil laughter echoes around them.]

DOCTOR ORBAN: And just where do you think you’re going?

[Ominous music rises.]

NARRATOR: Don’t touch that dial! Captain Radio and the Mutant Mole People from the Eleventh Dimension will return after this brief word from our sponsor.

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NARRATOR: We now return to the adventures of Captain Radio. Stranded in the Eleventh Dimension, home to the mutant mole people who call themselves the Children of Perpetual Night, Captain Radio must convince their leader, the Great Auditor, to send him back before both dimensions are obliterated…

CAPTAIN RADIO: I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out. Your people have been in contact with the Monks of the Dark Adaptation for centuries with no ill effects, but those were small portals. As soon as Doctor Orban began experimenting with the Dimension Gate, you started to experience the first signs of the Burning. That can’t be a coincidence.

AUDITOR: You are going in circles. He offered us safe haven from the Burning.

CAPTAIN RADIO: He told you exactly what you wanted to hear. But what he didn’t know was that as darkness was leaching into our dimension, light was leaking back into yours.

AUDITOR: Impossible.

CAPTAIN RADIO: It’s the truth. You say you’ve invaded a thousand dimensions, but you’ve never encountered one like mine, one in perfect contrast to your own.

AUDITOR: You speak of the balance.

CAPTAIN RADIO: Yes! The Oracle told me that light and dark exist in harmony. It must be the same here. When Orban opened the gate, he upset the balance. Unless we act fast, my universe will freeze and this one will burn.

AUDITOR: Hmmm. What do you propose?

CAPTAIN RADIO: Send me back through the portal. I can close the gate before the damage is irreversible.

[Mysterious organ music plays.]

NARRATOR: Across the infinite space between dimensions, Andromeda, Ace, and Orion come face-to-face with Doctor Orban.

DOCTOR ORBAN: You almost had me fooled, Andromeda.

ANDROMEDA: Stand aside. Orion and Ace are leaving.

DOCTOR ORBAN: I think not. I have this room surrounded. And a thousand shocktroops from Alpha Centauri will arrive in the docking bay at any moment. I’m disappointed, really. I thought this little game would take weeks to play out. Guards, return the prisoners to their cells.

ANDROMEDA: If you want them, you’ll have to go through me first.

DOCTOR ORBAN: That can be arranged.

NARRATOR: With mole people closing in on all sides, Andromeda stops them in their tracks with the force of her psychokinetic powers, but as more and more soldiers stream into the throne room, she cannot hold them off for long.

[The hum of Andromeda’s power is sliced through by laser blasts.]

ANDROMEDA: There’s too many of them!

ORION: Ace! Do it now!

ACE: Initiating high-frequency interference.

[We hear a high-pitched tone, followed by the thud of Mole People dropping to the ground.]

NARRATOR: Overcome by the intensity of the sound to their sensitive ears, the mole people collapse onto the marble floor, motionless.

ORION: That should buy us some time.

ACE: I am detecting something coming through the Dimension Gate.

ORION: Could be reinforcements.ANDROMEDAI’ve got to close the gate, once and for all.

[We hear the sound of Andromeda’s power again, a deep, droning rumble. Her voice is layered with other voices underneath.]

ANDROMEDA: It isn’t working. I don’t understand. I should be able to sever the connection.

NARRATOR: As Andromeda fights to close the portal, a shadowy figure appears within the gateway.

DOCTOR ORBAN: You’re too late! Soon, you will witness the full force of my army of darkness.

CAPTAIN RADIO: Not if I have anything to say about it.

DOCTOR ORBAN: Captain Radio. I should have killed you when I had the chance.

CAPTAIN RADIO: It’s over, Doctor Orban. I suggest you surrender.

DOCTOR ORBAN: Guards! On your feet!

NARRATOR: The stunned mole people struggle to their feet and prepare to open fire on our heroes when a second figure steps through the Dimension Gate.


DOCTOR ORBAN: The Great Auditor. Your excellency. I thought I told you to remain in your dimension until the invasion is complete.

AUDITOR: We are finished here. My children, we are returning home.

DOCTOR ORBAN: No. Wait. You can’t just leave. We had a deal!

AUDITOR: You lied to us. Seize him!

DOCTOR ORBAN: Stay back! I’m warning you. With the flip of a switch, I can summon enough dark energy to destroy the entire system.

CAPTAIN RADIO: Step away from that lever, Doctor Orban.

DOCTOR ORBAN: I give the orders here! The infinite power of the Eleventh Dimension is mine to command!

[We hear the low hum of Andromeda’s power building.]

ANDROMEDA: Actually, it’s mine.

NARRATOR: Doctor Orban attempts to reach for the portal controls to create an overload, but he finds himself unable to move, frozen in place by Andromeda’s psychokinetic field.

AUDITOR: Take him away.

DOCTOR ORBAN: Let me go! As your emperor, I command you to release me!

ANDROMEDA: What’s the matter, Orban? Afraid of the dark?

CAPTAIN RADIO: Are you sure you can handle him? He’s managed to escape justice before.

AUDITOR: He won’t cause any more havoc. We’ll make sure of it.

DOCTOR ORBAN: This isn’t over, Captain Radio. I’ll have my revenge. You’ll see…

NARRATOR: With Doctor Orban safely in custody, the mole people return to their home dimension, leaving our heroes to close the portal and restore the cosmic balance between light and shadow.

ANDROMEDA: I never doubted for an instant that you’d find a way back. I’m sorry.

CAPTAIN RADIO: It’s good to have you back. Now, we’ve got to get this portal closed before it can do any more damage.

ANDROMEDA: Alright. Let me try.

[We hear Andromeda’s power again, low and rumbling.]

ANDROMEDA: It’s fighting me. Every time I try to force it to collapse in on itself, it pushes back.

ORION: If you’re supplying the power to keep it open, can’t you just, I don’t know, cut it off?

ANDROMEDA: It isn’t that simple.

CAPTAIN RADIO: Of course. You can’t close the gate because you’re a part of it.

ORION: Then what are we supposed to do?

[We hear the distinct hum of the amulet.]

CAPTAIN RADIO: I almost forgot: the atomic amulet the monks gave me. I’m not sure how it works.

ANDROMEDA: I heard the Oracle explain it to Orban. You must stand at the threshold and focus all your thoughts on an image of the gateway closing.

ACE: But sir, there is a 46 percent chance that you will be on the wrong side of the portal when it closes, just like when you were trapped in the future.

ORION: I don’t like those odds.

CAPTAIN RADIO: It’s a risk we’re going to have to take. Andromeda, if I don’t return, know that my love for you transcends every dimension of time and space.

ANDROMEDA: I’ll look for you in the flickering of the stars.

CAPTAIN RADIO: Here goes nothing. Everybody stand back!

NARRATOR: Captain Radio holds the amulet over his head and steps into the swirling maelstrom surrounding the ever-expanding Dimension Gate. Enveloped by flashes of light and streaks of dark energy, he tries to clear his mind, focusing on a single, all-consuming thought. Slowly, the Dimension Gate begins to contract, folding in on itself until it vanishes into nothingness.

[We hear the portal close.]

CAPTAIN RADIO: There. It’s done.

ORION: Did we do it?

ANDROMEDA: See for yourself. 

CAPTAIN RADIO: The stars are back.

ACE: I am detecting stellar fusion in twelve nearby systems. Ambient temperatures returning to normal.

CAPTAIN RADIO: Disaster averted. Well done, everyone.

NARRATOR: After meeting with the Council of the Cosmos, Captain Radio, Ace, Orion, and Andromeda board the space zeppelin Phaeton.

ORION: I can’t believe what happened back there!

CAPTAIN RADIO: What’s the matter, Orion? The council cleared your criminal record. I thought you’d be pleased.

ANDROMEDA: That’s not what he means.

ORION: They offered you the throne. They wanted to make you king! Who turns down a chance to be king?!

CAPTAIN RADIO: I was flattered, of course, but that is not my destiny. The galaxy isn’t through with Captain Radio yet.

ANDROMEDA: Now that your secret is out, the people of Alpha Centauri will need your protection.

ORION: Well, you can count me out. I’ve had enough good deeds. You can drop me off at the nearest spaceport.

CAPTAIN RADIO: It’s the least I can do. Consider your debt repaid.

ORION: Andromeda? Are you sure you won’t come with me? It could be like old times again.

ANDROMEDA: I think we both know there’s no going back. I’m not the person I used to be. I belong here. 

ORION: I guess you’re right. He needs you.

ANDROMEDA: I hope you understand.

ORION: I think I’m starting to. Just give me a thought every so often when you’re out there saving the universe, okay?

ACE: We are cleared for departure.

CAPTAIN RADIO: Set a course for home, Ace.

ACE: Course set for Alpha Centauri.

NARRATOR: As the zeppelin pulls away from the Throne of Jupiter, the ship’s radio crackles to life, carrying with it a mysterious voice from the past.

VOICE OVER THE RADIO: Mayday! Mayday! This is Magnus Hostillian transmitting on an emergency frequency. Is anyone receiving? We are in need of assistance. Please help!

ANDROMEDA: Magnus? Is it possible?


CAPTAIN RADIO: By the spires of Venus. It can’t be. Magnus has been dead for fifteen years. Unless…

ORION: Can somebody please tell me what’s going on?

ACE: Tracing the signal now.

CAPTAIN RADIO: Would anyone mind if we take a quick detour?

ORION: Something tells me I don’t have a choice.

CAPTAIN RADIO: That’s the spirit, Orion! Ace, follow that signal. Let’s see what’s out there…

[Heroic music rings out.]

NARRATOR: You’ve been listening to Captain Radio and the Mutant Mole People from the Eleventh Dimension, brought to you by Hyperlux, the only dish washing powder made with pure radium. Keep your radio tuned to the Columbia Broadcasting System for “The Fall of the City” starring Orson Welles and Burgess Meredith. And until next time, keep your eye on the stars!

JONNY: The Adventures of Captain Radio is a production of Obscure Studios. This episode was written and edited by me, Jonny Eberle and it was produced by me and Will McDonald.

Our Narrator is Scott Kennedy. Captain Radio was played by Will McDonald. Orion was played by Rob Peters. Ace and the Ad Announcer were both played by DeLano Hays. Andromeda was played by Abigail Stokley. Doctor Orban was played by Jonny Eberle, the Mole People were voiced by Bailey Cunningham, and special guest Ron Poe provided the voice of the Great Auditor.

Our theme music was composed by Bailey Cunningham and our stunning artwork was designed by Tami King.

If you like the show, there are three simple things you can do to support us. The easiest thing to do is to leave us a rating and review wherever you’re listening right now. Second, you can make a donation on Ko-Fi. Or, you can buy Captain Radio merchandise like t-shirts, stickers, coffee mugs, phone cases, and more on our TeePublic store.

You can find all of those links as well as complete episode transcripts and more information about us on our website: 

That’s a wrap on this season. Stay tuned for more stories from the world of Captain Radio. Thank you for listening and we’ll see you next time.