VOICE
It’s time for Captain Radio!
[Intro music plays: thrilling, space-y synthesizer.]
NARRATOR
These are the adventures of Captain Radio! Time is running out to rescue Alpha Centauri and its moons from the grip of the graviton fold. And our heroes are also trapped within this strange region of space, from which there may be no escape.
Captain Radio steers his space zeppelin, the Phaeton, toward the moon of Proxima, where Andromeda was raised, and which serves as the final resting place for a dangerous ancient weapon – a weapon which might be the key to restoring the planet and preventing the moon from hurtling into the sun. But sinister forces are at work which may yet foil their valiant efforts…
You’re listening to Captain Radio and the Search for Alpha Centauri. Chapter Two: The Orphan Moon.
[A deep, lurching sound from outside the ship.]
CAPTAIN RADIO
More distortions?
ORION
You’d think so, but space is behaving normally. It’s Ace that’s acting strangely. Every time I let them take the wheel, we end up wildly off course.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Ace doesn’t make mistakes.
ORION
I don’t know, maybe that device we encountered knocked a screw loose or something. Whatever it is, just be careful around them. Something is off.
CAPTAIN RADIO
I’ll look into it. Keep us on course.
[Door whoosh.]
ACE
I have repaired the leak in the starboard fuel pump.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Ah, Ace. There you are. How are you feeling?
ACE
I am operating normally.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Are you sure? You were out of commission for a while back there. And you were exposed to a powerful magnetic field. Have you checked all your circuits?
ACE
I assure you that I am undamaged.
CAPTAIN RADIO
If anything changes, be sure to let me know.
ACE
Of course.
[Door whoosh.]
ANDROMEDA
We’re getting close. I can feel them.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Can you make heads or tails of what’s happened?
ANDROMEDA
They don’t know. It’s like all the people are caught in a single instant in time. A moment of panic with no end.
ORION
Could the fold also be distorting the flow of time?
CAPTAIN RADIO
It would stand to reason. Space and time are two sides of the same coin.
ACE
We will have to be careful not to stray into a distortion or we may become time locked ourselves.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Now that we know what we’re looking for, we should be able to map out the distortions and avoid any areas where we might become trapped.
ACE
I could increase the range of my scanners if I had access to the ship’s reactor.
ORION
I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.
ACE
The procedure is perfectly safe.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Go ahead, Ace, but I’d like Orion to assist you.
ACE
You doubt my abilities?
CAPTAIN RADIO
Not at all. But we are up against an unknown threat with millions of lives at stake. We have to take every precaution. We’re Alpha Centauri’s only hope.
ORION
Come on, rust bucket. Let’s get started.
ACE
Very well.
[Door whoosh.]
ANDROMEDA
What was all that about, Xavier?
CAPTAIN RADIO
Orion is worried that there might be something wrong with Ace. And they do seem a little…
ANDROMEDA
Agitated?
CAPTAIN RADIO
Something like that.
ANDROMEDA
But that shouldn’t be possible. Ace is a machine.
CAPTAIN RADIO
I know. But I’m also not sure I can trust my own judgment, especially after what happened back on Ferrilon.
ANDROMEDA
We saved the day, didn’t we?
CAPTAIN RADIO
Yes, but I almost doomed the galaxy. Because of my obsession with finding Magnus, I played right into Madame Celesta’s plot. I led her to the Lithostar. If she had succeeded in wiping out Orion’s species… that blood would be on my hands.
ANDROMEDA
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Madame Celesta didn’t need you to retrieve the stone. She would’ve gotten there in the end. If we hadn’t been there, the Taurians might have been exterminated. You’re a force for good, Xavier. You always have been.
CAPTAIN RADIO
I try.
ANDROMEDA
That is the best that anyone can do.
[Door whoosh.]
ORION
Ace is patched into the reactor core.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Very good.
ORION
Yeah, well, don’t thank me yet. If that robot blows a fuse, we could all be atomized.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.
ORION
Andromeda, keep an eye on this gauge, will you? Ace will feed navigational data there. Let me know if it jumps above one hundred.
ANDROMEDA
What happens if it hits one hundred?
ORION
Best guess, we’re either crushed to a fine powder or turned inside out and then crushed into a fine powder.
ANDROMEDA
I’m sorry I asked.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Anything I can do?
ORION
Hold on to something and pray to Saint Perigee this crazy plan works.
[Intercom beep.]
ACE
(Via radio)
Ready to commence scan.
ORION
Here goes nothing. Engines to half power.
ACE
(Via radio)
Approaching distortion field to port.
ORION
I see it.
ACE
(Via radio)
New distortions forming directly ahead.
ORION
Over or under?
ACE
(Via radio)
Scans cannot determine—
ORION
Over or under?
ANDROMEDA
Distortion field at ninety and climbing.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Come on, Ace.
ANDROMEDA
Ninety five!
ORION
We don’t have time for this. Give me a heading!
ACE
(Via radio)
Calculating probability of course correction.
ANDROMEDA
Ninety eight!
CAPTAIN RADIO
Go over it!
(The sound of engines straining.)
ORION
There. We’re through.
ACE
(Via radio)
How did you know which direction would enable us to evade the distortion?
CAPTAIN RADIO
I didn’t. Sometimes you have to go with your gut.
ORION
I’m glad your gut was right.
ANDROMEDA
There it is. Proxima.
NARRATOR
Up ahead, the moon of Proxima shimmers with an ethereal light — both there and not there at the same time. Our heroes guide their battered craft through the atmosphere, narrowly avoiding further distortions as the fold continues to close in around them. At last, they bring the Phaeton in for a hard landing outside the gates of the city.
[A metallic thud, followed by a grinding sound as the ship slows to a halt.]
ANDROMEDA
Is everyone alright?
CAPTAIN RADIO
Nice landing, Orion.
ORION
First rule of smuggling: if you crash your ship, you don’t get paid.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Come on, let’s get Ace disconnected from the reactor. Andromeda? What is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.
ANDROMEDA
It knows we’re here. That I’m here.
CAPTAIN RADIO
The weapon?
ANDROMEDA
It’s waking up. Searching for me. Pulling me toward it.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Then, we’d better not keep it waiting.
[Ominous music transitions us to:]
NARRATOR
Don’t touch that dial! Captain Radio and the Search for Alpha Centauri will return after this brief word from our sponsor!
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NARRATOR
We now return to The Adventures of Captain Radio! Having landed on Proxima, our heroes find a moon frozen in time, its surface rippled like water as the fold slowly overtakes it, the first snows of winter suspended in the air like stars in the night sky.
CAPTAIN RADIO
By the storms of Neptune…
ACE
Fascinating.
ANDROMEDA
No time to waste. The castle is this way.
[Boots crunching on gravel.]
CAPTAIN RADIO
Andromeda, what can you tell us about this psychokinetic bomb?
ANDROMEDA
I don’t know much. When I was a girl, my parents would tell stories about how our ancestors fought for the House of Perseid in the Psychic Wars.
ORION
The monks told stories, too. About how the psychokinetic bombs would focus and amplify a cleric’s powers, ripping apart their targets at the subatomic level. I just figured they were trying to scare us into eating our vegetables.
CAPTAIN RADIO
What I don’t understand is how one of those bombs ended up here. I thought psychic warfare was banned by the Treaty of Tau Ceti centuries ago.
ACE
The treaty called for total disarmament.
ANDROMEDA
For whatever reason, my ancestors hid some away. We have guarded them ever since.
ACE
Fools!
CAPTAIN RADIO
What was that?
ACE
It was foolish of them to think they could hide these weapons indefinitely.
ANDROMEDA
Perhaps. But if we can use one and precisely control its yield, it could reverse the fold.
ORION
Or we could be atomized.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Andromeda’s plan is risky, but right now we don’t have any other options.
NARRATOR
Andromeda, Ace, Orion, and Captain Radio make their way to the castle of Proxima and venture inside. Halfway up the grand staircase, they find Andromeda’s father, Baron Osiris, frozen mid-stride, his sword drawn to fight an invisible enemy.
ANDROMEDA
Hello, father. I told you I’d come home.
CAPTAIN RADIO
The baron must have known something had happened to Alpha Centauri. If only we could ask him what he saw when the planet disappeared.
ORION
It’s just as well. I’m actually not supposed to be here.
ACE
Explain.
ORION
Andromeda’s parents weren’t exactly thrilled when their daughter ran off with a Taurian smuggler. So they banished me, never to return.
ANDROMEDA
On pain of death.
ORION
Death?
ANDROMEDA
Oh yes. The proclamation was very explicit. There was even a reward for your capture.
ORION
How big a reward?
ANDROMEDA
Don’t start, Orion.
ORION
What? Can’t a guy know what kind of bounty he could get for turning himself in?
CAPTAIN RADIO
And how would you plan to escape with your reward?
ORION
I’d have Andromeda break me out.
ANDROMEDA
Not for all the tea in Cassiopeia.
ORION
Not even for old time’s sake? Like the job we did on Gannon Nine?
CAPTAIN RADIO
What were you doing on Gannon Nine?
ACE
That planet is a known hub for criminal activity. Most distasteful.
ANDROMEDA
That’s none of your business. It was a different life.
CAPTAIN RADIO
I see.
NARRATOR
They arrive at the end of a long stone corridor. Plucking her signet ring from one finger, Andromeda inserts it into a keyhole in the wall, revealing a secret passage.
[The sound of stone grinding.]
ANDROMEDA
Be careful. No one has been down here in years.
ACE
Scans do not indicate any danger.
ANDROMEDA
That’s exactly what worries me. Stay close and I’ll try to shield you.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Lead the way, Andromeda.
NARRATOR
They descend a long spiral staircase into the depths of the castle’s foundations. Torches flicker to life as they go, lighting their way in the dark. Finally, they approach a heavy door covered in mysterious symbols.
CAPTAIN RADIO
That looks like Old Proximan script.
ANDROMEDA
I can’t make out the words. Can you translate, Ace?
ACE
Affirmative. The inscription reads: The strongest mind shall enter. Beware all others, for they shall find only death within.
ANDROMEDA
I’d better go in alone.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Nonsense. We’ll stay together.
ANDROMEDA
My ancestors designed these psychic defenses to keep out intruders. You could be killed.
ORION
Yeah, I’m good waiting outside.
CAPTAIN RADIO
At least take Ace with you.
ACE
My memory tapes are well shielded.
ANDROMEDA
Alright. The rest of you wait here and don’t touch anything.
[The low hum of Andromeda’s power.]
NARRATOR
Andromeda focuses her mind on the door. Reaching one hand toward it, she methodically untangles a dozen psychic locks until at last, the door swings open.
[The thunk of the lock, a creak as the door opens.]
ANDROMEDA
Here goes nothing.
NARRATOR
Andromeda and Ace enter the dimly lit passage, which opens into a wide room with a smooth floor that gently curves up into shadow. In the center of the room stands a tall, tapered cylinder. Its surface is tarnished with patches that gleam golden in the flickering torchlight. A control surface near the base pulses with a soft green light.
ACE
Incredible. That a weapon of such destructive power could have been hidden here of all places.
ANDROMEDA
It’s beautiful. Why does that frighten me?
74391
Don’t be afraid. I won’t bite. Much.
ANDROMEDA
Who said that?
74391
Yoo-hoo! Over here.
ANDROMEDA
Are you the psychic bomb?
74391
Now you’re catching up! Pleased to meet you. Actually, after centuries in the dark, I’d be pleased to meet anyone, you know?
ACE
Fascinating.
ANDROMEDA
What do I call you?
74391
7-4-3-9-1. Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, does it? But that’s the only name I have left. The others I lost somewhere along the way. And you are called Andromeda.
ANDROMEDA
Yes. How did you know?
74391
Isn’t it obvious? We’re cut from the same cloth.
ANDROMEDA
I’m confused. I thought this was a weapon that a psychic could use, but you’re reading my mind. How can that be?
74391
Don’t you see the resemblance? We’re family, you and I. I can sense it.
ANDROMEDA
Family?
74391
Oh, that’s right. You can’t see me. I keep forgetting I don’t have a body anymore.
ACE
You had a previous physical form?
74391
I was like you, Andromeda. Young. Powerful. I had feet and, uh, what do you call them? Hands. All that human stuff.
ANDROMEDA
What happened to you?
74391
The Centauris. They invaded Proxima. Rounded up anyone with psychic abilities and conscripted us to fight in their war of conquest. I’ll never forget their leader, Perseus. How he laughed as they herded us into the castle to be separated.
ANDROMEDA
Separated?
74391
That’s what they called it. Doesn’t sound so bad, right? First, they husk you like an ear of corn. Your body falls away and what’s left – your mind, your very soul — is ripped away. Everything goes black and when you wake up, you’re a weapon in their arsenal.
ANDROMEDA
I can feel your pain. I’m sorry.
74391
I spent twenty years on the front lines, waiting to be fired. There were thousands of us, all hoping to be chosen, for the nightmare to end. Then suddenly, the fighting stopped. They signed a treaty and I was brought here. Do you know what it’s like to spend five hundred years with only your own thoughts for company?
ANDROMEDA
I can’t imagine how lonely that must be.
74391
You learn to be very patient. And you have time to think about what you would do if you ever got out.
ACE
What would you do?
74391
Seek revenge, of course. On the Centauris who took everything from me. Wouldn’t you do the same?
ACE
Affirmative. Revenge can be most satisfying.
ANDROMEDA
Ace, I think we should go.
ACE
What about the weapon?
ANDROMEDA
It’s not a bomb. It’s a person. A living person. If we use the weapon, then we’re no better than the people who did this to him.
ACE
You mean Captain Radio’s ancestor, Perseus.
ANDROMEDA
I didn’t know.
74391
You can blow me up, sis. I don’t mind. Really.
ACE
I agree with Andromeda. It would not be ethical.
74391
Seriously, it’s fine. It’s my purpose. I was made for destruction.
ANDROMEDA
You weren’t made. You were born. And what happened to you is unforgivable. I won’t take advantage of that.
74391
Don’t leave me. I’d much rather go out in a blaze of glory than spend another 500 years watching water drip through the crack in the ceiling. Let me help you defeat your enemies.
ANDROMEDA
That’s not why we came. There’s a planet trapped in a graviton fold. And I believe a carefully controlled psychokinetic explosion can reverse it.
74391
To save an entire planet… That is a much better fate than I could possibly hope for. I will join you, Andromeda. That’s what family’s for, isn’t it? And if we happen to find any Centauris along the way, we shall destroy them. Deal?
ANDROMEDA
Let’s start by rescuing the planet, shall we?
NARRATOR
With Ace carrying the sentient weapon, Andromeda emerges from the vault to find Captain Radio and Orion waiting.
CAPTAIN RADIO
There you are! I was beginning to worry about you.
ANDROMEDA
I found the weapon.
ORION
Wonderful. Now can we please go? I don’t like having this much dirt between me and the sky.
74391
You and me both, blue guy. So, what do you people do for fun in the hundred-and-first century?
ANDROMEDA
74391, meet Captain Radio and Orion.
74391
Centauri scum! I can sense your arrogance, your thirst for blood. Prepare to die!
ANDROMEDA
Don’t you dare hurt him!
74391
He is one of them. One of the people who made me what I am. Stand aside and I shall crush him to dust.
ANDROMEDA
You can’t hold him responsible for the crimes of his ancestors. And more importantly, I love him.
74391
A psychic and a son of the House of Perseid, together? What is this world coming to?
ORION
I get the feeling we missed something.
ANDROMEDA
I’ll explain later. Let’s get back to the ship. We’re running out of time.
NARRATOR
Back aboard the Phaeton, Ace prepares for takeoff while Andromeda and Orion get 74391 situated in the science lab. Down below, Captain Radio reels in the mooring lines.
[The hum of the engines spinning up.]
ANDROMEDA
I can still hear them, Orion. All those people, trapped.
ORION
I can hear it, too. Not like you can. Just a feeling, you know? Like everything’s about to go wrong.
ANDROMEDA
It’s going to be fine. Let’s get to Alpha Centauri and reverse the fold.
ORION
Hey Andromeda? There’s actually something I’ve been meaning to tell you.
ANDROMEDA
Can it wait? I’m sifting through layers of psychic programming to figure out how to lower 74391’s explosive yield.
ORION
No, it can’t. If this doesn’t work, if something goes wrong… What I mean to say is that Ace and I accidentally picked up a radio transmission for the captain.
ANDROMEDA
Go on.
ORION
It was a private message from Queen Nashira.
ANDROMEDA
Then you shouldn’t have listened to it.
ORION
But it concerns you. Look, there’s no easy way to say this.
ANDROMEDA
Spit it out, Orion.
ORION
She wants to marry him and make him king of the Imperium.
ANDROMEDA
Oh. I see.
ORION
It’s not my business what you royal types get up to. But if you ask me, he would be crazy to walk out on you.
ANDROMEDA
It isn’t always that simple. When you’re the sole heir of a noble house, like Xavier, sometimes choices are made for you. If the queen wants Xavier… If she wants to unite the great houses and rebuild the empire, then there’s nothing in the universe I could do to stop her.
ORION
That isn’t fair.
ANDROMEDA
No. It isn’t.
74391
Typical Centauri. Now can I destroy him?
ANDROMEDA
That won’t be necessary.
74391
We could find this queen and destroy her. Would that help?
[The beep of the intercom.]
CAPTAIN RADIO
(Via intercom)
Mooring lines secured. Ace, take us out.
ACE
(Via intercom)
It would be my pleasure, Captain Radio.
74391
I’m no expert, but I think your robot has a few screws loose.
ORION
Believe me, we’ve noticed.
NARRATOR
As Captain Radio climbs up from the lower level of the zeppelin, the doors between the compartments suddenly slam shut, locking Captain Radio out of the science lab and cutting Andromeda and Orion off from the flight deck.
[Doors whoosh shut and lock.]
ANDROMEDA
Xavier! Orion, help me with this door.
ORION
Don’t bother, it’s sealed. Something must have triggered the decompression alarm.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Ace, can you open this door? I’m locked in the cargo hold!
ACE
(Via intercom)
I’m afraid I can’t do that.
ANDROMEDA
Ace, unlock these doors this instant!
CAPTAIN RADIO
I don’t think that’s Ace. I think someone else is in control now.
ORION
Who could be controlling Ace?
CAPTAIN RADIO
My greatest enemy. The exiled son of a king. A tortured genius who would stop at nothing to get his revenge on me.
[Ace does a near-perfect imitation of Doctor Orban’s evil laugh, but mechanical and distorted by the robot’s voice box.]
EVIL ACE
(via intercom)
I was beginning to think you’d never work it out. You really should pay closer attention.
CAPTAIN RADIO
I don’t know how you escaped or how you’re speaking through Ace, but I think it’s time you stepped out of the shadows… Doctor Orban.
ANDROMEDA
The presence I felt earlier – it was Orban. But how? He’s imprisoned in the Eleventh Dimension.
EVIL ACE
(Via intercom)
You doubt me? Very well. I have a message for you, Captain Radio. Accessing encrypted memory tapes.
DOCTOR ORBAN
Hello, my old nemesis. If you’re listening to this now, you may think you have defeated me, but like a radioactive Denebian cockroach, I always come back. It is time to settle the score and end this long game of ours — once and for all.
CAPTAIN RADIO
I don’t have time for games. I’m trying to save my home.
DOCTOR ORBAN
Ah, but you’ve been playing my game all along. My machinations were set in motion months ago.
74391
Can I just say, I am loving it here! Sudden twists of fate, double-crosses? Much better than watching the water drip.
ORION
What have you done with Ace?
EVIL ACE
(Via intercom)
Now you’re asking the right questions. It’s a pity you won’t have time to foil my plot. I was content with letting the fold slowly squeeze the life out of you, but since you were kind enough to supply me with a psychokinetic bomb, I’m going to use it to obliterate this cursed vessel.
ANDROMEDA
You can’t!
74391
Sorry, sis. But it was far too tempting. I told you I would get my revenge. My explosive yield is set to maximum.
EVIL ACE
(Via intercom)
Setting course for Alpha Centauri.
CAPTAIN RADIO
You won’t get away with this!
EVIL ACE
(Via intercom)
Farewell, Captain Radio!
[Mysterious music transitions us to:]
NARRATOR
You’ve been listening to the adventures of Captain Radio! How has Doctor Orban corrupted Ace from his banishment to the Eleventh Dimension? Can our heroes prevent the destruction of Alpha Centauri and escape with their lives? Find out next week in the epic conclusion of Captain Radio and the Search for Alpha Centauri, brought to you by the Slumberite mattress!
WILL
The Adventures of Captain Radio is a production of Obscure Studios. This episode was written by Jonny Eberle and produced by William McDonald. Mixing and sound design by Trask Snow. Featuring music by Simon Cunningham and art by Tami King.
Our talented cast includes:
Scott Kennedy as the Narrator
William McDonald as Captain Radio
Abigail Stokley as Andromeda
DeLano Hays as Ace
Christian Carvajal as Orion
Jonny Eberle as Doctor Orban and the Ad Announcer
And Armando Torres as 73491
JONNY
Special thanks to our co-producers who contributed to our crowdfunding campaign to make this season possible: Mikey Hudson, Chris Gunn, Ruth Heathman, Hanna Wonders, Keene Short, and Sarah Bevan.
WILL
We’re a small team of independent creators. If you like our work and want to support us, follow Obscure Studios on social media, contribute on Ko-Fi, buy merch on our TeePublic store, or join our mailing list at obscurestudios.net. You can also help us reach more listeners by leaving us a review on your favorite podcast app and by sharing a link to our show with a friend. See the show notes to learn more. Thank you so much for listening and for your support!
Obscure Studios 