VOICE: It’s time for Captain Radio!
[Intro music plays: thrilling, space-y synthesizer.]
NARRATOR
These are the adventures of Captain Radio! After being lured to a remote lighthouse by interstellar industrialist Madame Celesta, Captain Radio, Andromeda, Orion, and Ace were transported across space to a mythical planet alongside the stowaway Pollux Von Luna, where they may have no choice but to help her find a hidden treasure.
You’re listening to Captain Radio and the Curse of the Primordial Planet. Chapter Three: The Ruins of Ferrilon.
Our heroes find themselves in an inhospitable alien jungle with no way home and no idea what dangers may lie hidden in their path. But, two members of their troupe are missing…
[We hear the wild sounds of the jungle, alien animals cry in the distance.]
ORION
Remind me to never travel that way again.
ANDROMEDA
Hang on, where are Xavier and Ace?
MADAME CELESTA
Not to worry. The matter transmitter’s guidance crystals are thousands of years old — they’re not as pinpoint accurate as they used to be. I’m certain your friends are quite safe, somewhere nearby.
ANDROMEDA
We’re going to find them this instant. And you’re going to help us, Madame Celesta.
MADAME CELESTA
In this jungle? You’ll never find them out here.
POLLUX VON LUNA
She’s right, miss. If they’re on this planet, they’ll be looking for the artifact. Your best hope of seeing them alive again is to saddle up and do likewise.
ORION
Our friends are in trouble and all you can think about is your blasted buried treasure.
MADAME CELESTA
Pollux and I are merely being practical.
ANDROMEDA
We’re not going anywhere until you help us find them.
MADAME CELESTA
Now, now, my dear. We must watch our temper. We wouldn’t want a repeat of what happened on Gemini Four, do we?
POLLUX VON LUNA
I been there once. Terrible looting.
MADAME CELESTA
She very nearly killed one of my men. It was rather impressive.
ANDROMEDA
It was a moment of weakness. It won’t happen again.
MADAME CELESTA
Feels good to lose control sometimes, doesn’t it?
ORION
You’re still feeling the effects of the Dimension Gate, aren’t you? Andromeda—
ANDROMEDA
I’m fine. Let’s get on with it. Where is this artifact you’re all so desperate to find?
MADAME CELESTA
Not far.
POLLUX VON LUNA
Less than a day’s journey, I reckon. The temple should be due north of here.
ORION
What are we waiting for? Let’s go.
MADAME CELESTA
It’s getting late. You don’t want to be caught in the deep jungle after dark. We should make camp here and strike out at first light.
POLLUX VON LUNA
Fine by me. I’ll get us a fire going.
MADAME CELESTA
Does that meet with your approval, princess?
ANDROMEDA
I’m not a princess.
MADAME CELESTA
My mistake. Just the daughter of a regular old baron.
ANDROMEDA
That’s a matter of perspective. Some people will always see me as a commoner.
MADAME CELESTA
We’re cut from the same cloth, you and I. I’ll always be tied to my family fortune, no matter how many archeological accomplishments I rack up.
ANDROMEDA
This must be a dream come true for an archaeologist.
MADAME CELESTA
Oh, you have no idea. I almost can’t believe my eyes. Ferrilon at last. Quincy would’ve loved this.
ANDROMEDA
You love him very much. I can sense it.
MADAME CELESTA
And you care for your dashing young count. Enjoy it while it lasts, honey, because love has a way of slipping from your grasp.
ANDROMEDA
What happened to him?
MADAME CELESTA
Quincy and I were school sweethearts. But we both had our callings. I had the family business to run and he was a physician with the Saint Perigee Benevolent Aid Society.
ANDROMEDA
He went into war zones?
MADAME CELESTA
I didn’t want him to go. We could make a donation, I said. We could fund the society until the heat death of the universe…but he insisted. He wanted to save lives, to help those less fortunate.
ANDROMEDA
But he didn’t come back.
MADAME CELESTA
Please excuse me. I don’t usually talk about the war.
ANDROMEDA
What did you mean about me and Xavier?
MADAME CELESTA
I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. It isn’t as if he’s risking his life every day. Someday, he’ll stop playing vigilante and settle down with a nice countess by his side. Something to look forward to — assuming you’re the one he chooses. Well, it’s been a long day. I think I should turn in.
[The fire crackles.]
ORION
So, you’re the Pollux Von Luna who robbed the Bank of Serpentarion.
POLLUX VON LUNA
Twice, actually.
ORION
The Butcher of the Trinary Systems. They say your desire for wealth is only surpassed by your thirst for blood.
POLLUX VON LUNA
What of it?
ORION
I’ve heard stories about you in every dive bar and spaceport in the Imperium. You’re a legend. And so far, I can’t say that you live up to the myth.
POLLUX VON LUNA
Never meet your heroes.
ORION
Where’s your ship? Where are the hundred outlaws that make up your crew? The Pollux Von Luna I’ve heard about wouldn’t need to stow away to get where he was headed.
POLLUX VON LUNA
What do you want me to say?
ORION
It’s all a lie, isn’t it?
POLLUX VON LUNA
Give a guy some credit. I did kill a man in the Trinary Star Systems. I may have embellished the story a bit, but how am I supposed to operate unless I’ve got me a fearsome reputation?
ORION
And the Bank of Serpentarion?
POLLUX VON LUNA
They were so terrified they practically begged me to take whatever I wanted. Turns out a reputation is a powerful ally.
ORION
I suppose that detonator shoots confetti.
POLLUX VON LUNA
It’s real. Not sure if it works or not, but it’s the genuine article. Unlike me.
ORION
What exactly is this artifact you’re so desperate to get your hands on?
POLLUX VON LUNA
The Lithostar is said to have been forged in the Big Bang itself. It’s rumored to have supernatural powers. Whatever it is, it’ll make me richer than the platinum moons of Vega.
ORION
Spoken like a true grave robber.
POLLUX VON LUNA
I don’t rob graves. Not anymore. At least, I won’t have to once the Lithostar is mine. I’ve got my eye on a quiet planetoid in the Libra Constellation where I can retire and let my legend fade into memory. That’s not something I’d expect someone like you to understand.
ORION
I’m no hero. I’m just a smuggler waiting for my next run. Actually, I’m a lot more like you than I’m like Captain Radio. But it’s been a nice change of pace to take a break from that life. I can see the appeal of a fresh start.
POLLUX VON LUNA
We could team up, you know. Take the stone for ourselves, split the profits.
ORION
No thanks. I saw the death mark over that door and I don’t want anything to do with it. We’re just here to find the captain’s friend and we’ll be on our way.
POLLUX VON LUNA
Magnus Hostillian? That old man’s not worth the effort.
ORION
Try telling that to the captain.
POLLUX VON LUNA
I don’t know why Magnus wants the stone. Something about honor and chivalry and all that hogwash. He’s a fool, but he’s a fool who keeps getting in my way. Know this: if we get to the stone and he’s there, I won’t hesitate to pull the trigger. You follow me?
ORION
I get the picture.
POLLUX VON LUNA
And Orion? I’d appreciate it if you kept this conversation between us.
ORION
Your reputation is safe with me.
[Ominous music transitions us to:]
NARRATOR
Meanwhile, miles away on the far side of the impenetrable jungle, Captain Radio and Ace find themselves alone on an alien world. Captain Radio gets to his feet and blinks into the light of the emerald sun.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Where are we, Ace?
ACE
I can confirm we are twenty-five thousand lightyears from our last position.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Any sign of the others?
ACE
I do not detect them in the immediate vicinity. They may be outside of my scanning range.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Or they could be anywhere in the known universe.
ACE
Correct.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Tell me, Ace. Have you ever seen a green star before?
ACE
Negative. Green stars do not occur in nature.
CAPTAIN RADIO
How do you explain the one in the sky, then?
ACE
I would need more data to form a theory.
CAPTAIN RADIO
I think somebody built it. The star, this planet. I think it was all engineered for a purpose. And I intend to find out why.
ACE
Do you suspect a trap like the one we encountered in the catacombs of Delta Argos?
CAPTAIN RADIO
I’m not sure yet. I just have a feeling that this place isn’t what it seems. Come on, let’s find the others.
[A rustle of underbrush as they press into the jungle. A twig snaps, then a trigger is pulled.]
MAGNUS
One more step and you die. Tell your infantry robot to lay down their weapons.
ACE
I am unarmed.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Magnus?
MAGNUS
Who wants to know?
CAPTAIN RADIO
You probably don’t remember. I was just a boy when you left to lead my father’s army to Gemini Four.
MAGNUS
Xavier? By the dark side of the Moon, it is you. Your mask. Is it—?
CAPTAIN RADIO
It’s the faceplate from your armor. What was left of it, anyway. Where in all the stars have you been?
MAGNUS
It’s a long story. Come, I’ll take you to my camp. It isn’t safe to be in the deep jungle after dark. This way.
[We hear the rustle of plants underfoot, the soft chirp of insects.]
MAGNUS
So, you got my signal. I wasn’t sure anyone was still using the old Imperium emergency channels. After my ship went down in this jungle, I thought I was done for. My co-pilot, she died in the crash and I thought… Well, no matter. You’re here now. What news of home? Who is captain of the Centauri Guard these days?
CAPTAIN RADIO
In your absence, Flagstaff has taken it on.
MAGNUS
Flagstaff? She’s not who I would’ve chosen. Too cautious, not willing to spill a little blood when the time calls for it. Count Anton must be getting soft in his old age.
CAPTAIN RADIO
My father is dead.
MAGNUS
He fell in battle?
CAPTAIN RADIO
Typhonian plague. Seven years ago.
MAGNUS
I’m sorry to hear it. But I always knew you would make a worthy ruler for our people.
CAPTAIN RADIO
I had hoped you would be there, at my coronation.
MAGNUS
As did I. Do they still sing the great Centauri battle songs? Let’s sing one to your father’s memory. What shall it be? The Warrior’s Sacrifice? Conquest of Epsilon Erandi?
CAPTAIN RADIO
No one has sung those songs in years. Alpha Centauri has changed since you were away. We no longer wage ceaseless war across the stars. We’re at peace now.
MAGNUS
Peace, you say? And what of your infantry robot? You say the wars are all finished and yet you travel with one of the king’s own killing machines.
ACE
I am no longer in service to the Imperium. I have a new purpose.
MAGNUS
Who does the king call upon when his enemies are at the gates of the Throne of Jupiter? In my day, the Centauri Guard was known across the universe for its fighting prowess.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Those days are over. There’s a new queen on the throne and she’s withdrawing the last of the Imperium’s forces from the Scorpius Constellation.
MAGNUS
Peace with those blasted crustaceans?! I guess things really have changed since I’ve been away.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Where have you been? It’s been fifteen years. We thought you were dead, Magnus. When you and the Opticon both disappeared—
MAGNUS
I know. I thought I was dead, too. I fought the beast from the fires of Hydra to the Cauldrons of Cassiopeia. But it was too strong. By all rights, I should’ve died, it should’ve killed me and let me have the dignity of death, but it wanted to punish me. So, as a final insult, it let me live.
CAPTAIN RADIO
You could have come home.
MAGNUS
I swore on my sword that I would not set foot on Alpha Centauri until I accomplished my mission.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Your planet needs you. I need you by my side, to advise me, to guide me as my father would have.
MAGNUS
I will gladly serve, but first I must find the Lithostar and regain my honor.
CAPTAIN RADIO
There’s more to life than honor. I don’t know what this Lithostar is, but I can’t believe it’s worth all this. There are dangerous people after you, Magnus. I don’t think they’ll hesitate to kill you if they think it’ll get them what they want.
MAGNUS
Ah, so you’ve met Madame Celesta.
CAPTAIN RADIO
And Pollux Von Luna.
MAGNUS
Pollux made it all the way out here? I’m impressed. I didn’t think he had it in him. He’s a loose cannon, but it’s Celesta we have to worry about. She’s as cruel as they come — and always two steps ahead of everyone else.
CAPTAIN RADIO
You don’t need to prove anything to me. We can find my friends and get out of here.
MAGNUS
Where is your sense of adventure, Xavier? I am a Centauri warrior — without my honor, I am nothing. I thought I taught you that.
CAPTAIN RADIO
You taught me a lot, and I am grateful to you. I’ve used your training to save a dozen worlds.
MAGNUS
With the training I gave you, you could conquer a dozen worlds.
CAPTAIN RADIO
That is not the path I walk.
MAGNUS
Then it seems our paths have diverged.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Is that why you want the Lithostar? To relive the past and claim some lost glory? Is that what it is? Some kind of weapon?
MAGNUS
It isn’t a weapon.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Then what? Why come halfway across the galaxy? Why spend fifteen years searching for it? Why allow me to think you were dead all this time?
MAGNUS
It’s a second chance, Xavier.
CAPTAIN RADIO
I don’t understand.
MAGNUS
Tomorrow, you will. Tomorrow, you and I will walk into that temple and rewrite history.
[Heroic music transitions us to:]
NARRATOR
Don’t touch that dial! Captain Radio and the Curse of the Primordial Planet will return after this brief word from our sponsor.
NEWSCASTER
We interrupt this radio program to bring you a breaking news bulletin. Three days ago, American Astronaut Amelia Earhart blasted off from the international rocket complex in Ceylon on an unprecedented mission: to become the first pilot to complete a solo flight around the Earth and the Moon. Just a few moments ago, I.A.C. Mission Control lost radio contact with Earhart’s space capsule, Electra One, as it passed behind the Moon. Now the clock is ticking as the world holds its breath, waiting for Earhart to emerge on the far side. Stay tuned for further updates.
NARRATOR
We now return to the adventures of Captain Radio. Our heroes spend a restless night on the ancient planet of Ferrilon, waiting for the confrontation that will come with the dawn. As the green sun crests the distant mountains, Captain Radio wakes to the sound of approaching footsteps.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Ace? Do you hear that?
ACE
Affirmative. I detect four individuals. One of them is heavily armed.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Pollux. Can you tell if Andromeda and Orion are with him?
ACE
I cannot be that precise at this distance. The planet has an unusually strong system of magnetic rings. They are interfering with my scanners.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Better be prepared for anything. Where did Magnus go?
ACE
He is at the base of the temple wall. I believe he is attempting to locate a hidden passage.
CAPTAIN RADIO
They’re close. Ace, get behind that tree. I don’t want you caught in the crossfire if things go sideways. Hold it right there.
MADAME CELESTA
Ah, Captain Radio. How good of you to join us on this lovely morning.
ANDROMEDA
Xavier! I was starting to worry that you’d been atomized.
CAPTAIN RADIO
I’m fine. Just misplaced, that’s all.
ACE
I am operating within normal parameters, as well.
ORION
Good to see you, rust bucket. This must be the temple everyone’s so eager to break into.
ACE
I estimate the walls are at least ten feet thick. If it is indeed a Sargassian structure, it may be impossible to enter.
MADAME CELESTA
Your tin-plated friend is correct. The Sargassians were keen not to have their dead disturbed in the afterlife. They designed their tombs to be perfectly sealed labyrinths.
POLLUX VON LUNA
So, how are we going to get in? Explosives? Or will that anger the gods and bring the curse upon us?
MADAME CELESTA
Ain’t no such thing as curses, but if you damage this archaeological site, it’ll be the last thing you do. Whoever built this would’ve wanted to be able to retrieve the Lithostar. There has to be a way in.
NARRATOR
Before they can continue, Magnus returns from inspecting the structure. Pollux raises his weapon, but Captain Radio draws his own ray gun before he can fire.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Not so fast.
MAGNUS
Madame Celesta. I thought I felt a chill. Must be the ice water in your veins.
MADAME CELESTA
Magnus, you old space dog. How’s the leg?
MAGNUS
Worse since you shot me.
MADAME CELESTA
I did warn you first. Where’s Aquaria?
MAGNUS
She…she didn’t make it.
MADAME CELESTA
Always knew she’d walk through the fires of Hydra for you, poor thing. More blood spilled in your hopeless crusade.
MAGNUS
By the storms of Neptune, is that Osiris’ girl I see?
ANDROMEDA
Hello, Magnus.
MAGNUS
Andromeda. How you’ve grown – you look just like your mother. Are your parents well?
ANDROMEDA
They are. After Gemini Four, my father was made Baron of Proxima.
MAGNUS
Good man. One of Alpha Centauri’s finest. How did you wind up following Xavier all the way out here?
ANDROMEDA
Xavier and I—
CAPTAIN RADIO
Yes, we’re…well…
MADAME CELESTA
As much as I’m enjoying this little reunion, we ought to keep moving.
POLLUX VON LUNA
She’s right. Did you find a way in?
MAGNUS
Yes. It’s a small passage, but I think I could just make it through. There’s no telling what I’ll find inside. It would be best if you all stayed here until I’ve scoped it out.
MADAME CELESTA
There’s not a chance in all the cosmos that you’re going in there without me.
POLLUX VON LUNA
Or me.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Everyone lower your weapons. This is ridiculous. We’ll all go.
MAGNUS
A truce?
MADAME CELESTA
I reckon so. But only until we get to the Lithostar.
POLLUX VON LUNA
I don’t like it, but I don’t see much other choice.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Lead the way, Magnus.
NARRATOR
Together, they approach the sheer stone wall. Magnus begins to climb, using vines to pull himself up to a small opening high above the forest floor. One by one, the others follow, and slip inside the tomb.
ACE
Sir, my dimensions exceed the size of the opening. I will have to wait outside.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Nonsense, Ace. I’m not going to leave you behind. If Orion can make it, then you can, too.
ACE
Might I remind you that Orion has triple-jointed arms. In fact, Taurian biology has several fascinating adaptations—
CAPTAIN RADIO
We’ll improvise. What if we loosen a few bolts in your frame? It may scratch your chrome plating, but I could really use you in there.
ACE
Very well.
NARRATOR
Ace drops down through the hole, metal scraping on every side. Captain Radio follows close behind, his movements swift and sure. The interior of the tomb is pitch black and cold as death. Orion lights a match, illuminating a long, low tunnel festooned with spiderwebs. Orion holds the light up to a symbol etched above an arched doorway.
ORION
There it is again: the Taurian Death Mark. There’s still time to turn back, you know. No shame in that.
MADAME CELESTA
Typical Taurian superstition. We’ve come this far. I’m not turning back now that the Lithostar is nearly mine.
POLLUX VON LUNA
We’ll see about that.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Enough! Let’s just get it and get out of here as quickly as possible. Which way?
MADAME CELESTA
Sargassians oriented their buildings to align with the planet’s magnetic field. The most sacred places were closest to the field lines.
ORION
Anyone got an astro-compass handy?
MAGNUS
I do. Let’s see. Should be down this corridor and slightly to the right, unless Madame Celesta is deliberately throwing us off the scent.
MADAME CELESTA
You wound me, Magnus.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Let’s go, everyone. No time to waste.
ANDROMEDA
Xavier, look out!
NARRATOR
Captain Radio stops just short of the archway. In the dying light of the sputtering match, inches from his neck, he sees a length of razor-sharp wire strung across the opening, waiting to ensnare an unsuspecting intruder.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Talk about a close shave. Ace, can you cut this wire?
ACE
Affirmative. Everyone please stand clear.
[We hear the wire snap.]
POLLUX VON LUNA
Are there gonna be more traps like that down there?
MAGNUS
You’re not afraid, are you, Pollux?
POLLUX VON LUNA
You oughta hold your tongue, old man, or I’m gonna vaporize it.
MAGNUS
I prefer to let my sword do the talking—
CAPTAIN RADIO
No one’s getting vaporized or skewered. We’ve got to keep our heads and work together. Andromeda, Ace, and I will go first. We’ll sniff out any danger and find a safe way through. Magnus and Orion will bring up the rear. The rest of you stay quiet.
NARRATOR
Our heroes descend into the maze, winding their way through narrow passageways toward the secret lying at its core.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Thanks for saving my neck back there, Andromeda.
ANDROMEDA
It was nothing. I merely sensed the wire.
CAPTAIN RADIO
I’m sorry if I’ve been distant. I’m still getting used to your new abilities.
ANDROMEDA
Are you frightened of me?
CAPTAIN RADIO
Honestly, I don’t know what to think. I just need to know if I can still count on you.
ANDROMEDA
Always.
ACE
Detecting instability in the floor ahead.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Be careful crossing this room, everyone. There may be loose tiles.
[We hear the group walking over loose stones and gravel. Suddenly, the sound of a shifting weight in the wall, followed by a trickle of sand.]
ORION
Look out!
[A low rumble of stone. The sound of flowing sand gets louder as the chamber fills.]
MADAME CELESTA
The door is closing! We’ll be sealed in.
ORION
And buried alive!
MAGNUS
I’ll try to hold the door open! Go!
ANDROMEDA
Magnus, get out of there!
MAGNUS
Go on without me!
CAPTAIN RADIO
No one’s getting left behind. The rest of you keep moving.
ORION
Try not to get yourself killed, okay?
CAPTAIN RADIO
I’ll do my best.
NARRATOR
As the rest of the group makes their escape, Captain Radio fights against the tide of sand. He finds Pollux’s detonator in the current before he reaches Magnus, who is trapped by the closing stone door and buried up to his shoulders in a fine black powder.
CAPTAIN RADIO
Magnus! Take my hand!
MAGNUS
I thought I told you to leave me!
CAPTAIN RADIO
Don’t try to be a hero — that’s my job. Come on!
NARRATOR
Captain Radio summons all his strength to pull his mentor free before he’s crushed by the weight of the door. Together, they push their way through the cascade of sand to the stairwell and climb up into a small chamber lit by flickering torches.
[We hear Magnus coughing.]
ANDROMEDA
Are you alright?
CAPTAIN RADIO
I’m fine, but Magnus breathed in a lungful of sand on our way out.
MAGNUS
I’ve survived the boiling tar pits of Beta Constantine. It’s going to take a lot more than a little sand to take me down.
ORION
Where’s Pollux?
CAPTAIN RADIO
I thought he was with you.
ORION
Did you even bother to look?
ANDROMEDA
We’ve got to go back.
MAGNUS
Forget it. By now, he’s buried under five tons of sand.
ORION
Don’t you even care? No one’s life is worth this. We’ve gotta get out of here before we get picked off one by one.
CAPTAIN RADIO
I’m sorry, Orion.
MAGNUS
Pollux knew the risk. Besides, he was a lowlife criminal. We’re all safer without him around.
ORION
You didn’t know him. He was ready to leave that all behind. The Lithostar was his chance for a normal life.
MADAME CELESTA
What are you all talking about? Don’t you see? We’ve made it.
MAGNUS
It’s beautiful.
MADAME CELESTA
And it’s all mine.
[Mysterious music transitions us to:]
NARRATOR
You’ve been listening to the adventures of Captain Radio! Can our intrepid treasure seekers find another way out of the ruins? Who will claim the Lithostar for their own? What are the stone’s mythological powers? Find out next week in the incredible fourth chapter of Captain Radio and the Curse of the Primordial Planet!
The Adventures of Captain Radio is a production of Obscure Studios. This episode was written by Jonny Eberle and produced by Will McDonald with editing and sound mixing by Trask Snow.
Our main cast includes:
William McDonald as the Narrator
William McDonald as Captain Radio
Christian Carvajal as Orion
DeLano Hays as Ace
Abigail Stokely as Andromeda
Laura Burt as Madame Celesta
Jonny Eberle as Pollux Von Luna
Richard Burt as Magnus Hostillian
Jonny Eberle as the Newscaster
Our theme music was composed by Simon Cunningham and our stunning artwork was designed by Tami King.
If you like the show, there are three simple things you can do to support us. The easiest thing to do is to leave us a rating and review wherever you’re listening right now. You can also make a donation on our Ko-Fi page. Or, you can buy Captain Radio merchandise like t-shirts, stickers, coffee mugs, phone cases, and more on our TeePublic store.
You can find all of those links as well as complete episode transcripts and more information about us on our website: obscurestudios.net.
Thanks for listening and we’ll see you next time.
Obscure Studios 